As Valentine's Day came last week I thought about the things that people love. There are the obvious and usual things: family, friends, home, maybe career. But what is it that we love as humans that makes us unique? What is it about what we love that makes us who we are?
I thought about the things that I have loved over a period of years, those things that define me, those things that I love consistently and passionately. What are they? What is their hold on me?
Books! I have always loved reading, spending many hours in the public library as a young child, teen, and adult. As I moved to a new community I sought out each new library in turn, exploring the shelves for new 'friends'. Later my love of books took me to a variety of book stores, both new and used, as well as online bookstores and monthly book clubs. What do I love about books? I love the feel and smell of them. I love the things I learn, the history I become a part of, the stories that take me into another life, the easy reading to pass the time. Now I'm even reading on my iPad, a new experience that allows me to instantly download and begin reading. So, my love of books remains constant even as it transforms from library to bookstore to ebook.
Maine! What is it about Maine that calls to me? I've loved Maine for at least 12 years, ever since I ordered a free travel magazine. I don't know what first attracted me, but I do know what holds me now. Maine sings to my soul, calms me, energizes and inspires me. I love the seacoast, the mountains, the trees, wild flowers, ferns, stone fences, lighthouses, sunrises and sunsets, fairs, lazy days. Maine feels like home; it feels like where I belong, where I am most truly my real self. I've often wondered about the source of this attraction, but have no idea. I have visited Maine seven times since 2000,exploring all of the coast and much of southern Maine, finding my favorite area in 2009, Pemaquid Peninsula in the mid-coast area. Maine is the source of many comforting memories that sustain me while I'm exiled in Texas.
Beagles! What is it about a beagle that is irresistible? Over my lifetime I've loved four beagles. Tippy entered my life as a puppy when I was a child; he was the typical outdoor dog, a great playmate for little girls. When I was a young adult I got Tubby,a beagle puppy to love when we bought our first house. He was full of mischief in his youth, but gradually became a good companion for my young children. Next came Angel, a Christmas puppy gift from my grown daughters who knew how much I loved beagles. What a surprise! She totally stole my heart, she was my most faithful companion for ten years through divorce, moves, and career changes. Angel knew and loved me well, and letting her go when it was the kind thing to do was a difficult decision. Nine months later I was ready for Abby. She was a rescue dog about a year old, the first adult dog I ever adopted. She's been with me four months now, and she grows closer to me everyday. What do these beagles have in common? They are gorgeous tri-colors, mostly black with white tipped tails and long ears. They are loyal and loving, mischievous and full of life, joyous and fun! They make me laugh and cry, create comic relief as well as constant chaos, and invite me to fully participate in life. They are true friends who always listen and love me unconditionally.
Am I defined by these things that I love? Most definitely! Books, Maine, and beagles are integral parts of my life. They sustain me, help me grow, and provide inspiration. They enhance my life and encourage me to be my best self.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Friday, February 4, 2011
Illusion of Control
What is control? It seems we humans have a continual need to control. We want to control our surroundings: the weather, the temperature, the length of days. We use fire, coal, air conditioners and heaters to control our immediate temperature comfort as well as using blankets, coats, and numerous wraps, gloves, and head coverings. We have weather forecasters and radar; we try to seed clouds and stop hurricanes. We change the time system several times a year to "create" more daylight. We worry and argue about global warming and how we may be influencing it.
We struggle with self-control: temper, weight, finances, addictions. We continually vacillate between what we "ought" to do and what we impulsively want to do. We want to speak kind words and maintain peaceful and respectful relationships; we want to have it our own way, to say what we really think, to lash out when our feelings are hurt. We want to have fit and beautiful bodies; we want to eat chocolate and sit in a comfortable chair and watch television or read a good book. We want to "save for a rainy day" and only spend on things we really need; we want to give in to impulse buying and credit cards. We want to think clearly; we want to give in to our addictions to food, alcohol, spending, or drugs.
The struggle for control extends to all relationships. In schools there is a continual struggle for control between adults and students.
In the workplace there are tensions between management or administration and the workforce. In marriage and other partnerships there are issues of control which must be addressed on a daily basis. We want to have strong and productive relationships; we want to be in charge and have things our way.
What is the relationship between control and government? We have laws for our safety: wear seat belts, drive the speed limit, don't drive drunk. We have the FDA, EPA, CIA, FBI, police, armed forces; when do these agencies for safety become agencies of control? How much of our personal control are we willing to give up? That question has been at the core of change in nations throughout history. I just finished reading "Fall of Giants" by Ken Follett. The story he tells of the Russian revolution during World War I is a perfect example of what happens when the people want to take back control from a dominating government. The results are messy, there is loss on both sides, and no one actually wins.
So, how do these thoughts on control apply to the current crisis in Egypt? Each person and relationship will change as external events shift thoughts and feelings about control. The struggle for control of the country impacts the lives of all Egyptians; it also impacts all of the world. Regardless of how it ends, the struggle will be messy, there will be loss on both sides, and no one will actually win.
We struggle with self-control: temper, weight, finances, addictions. We continually vacillate between what we "ought" to do and what we impulsively want to do. We want to speak kind words and maintain peaceful and respectful relationships; we want to have it our own way, to say what we really think, to lash out when our feelings are hurt. We want to have fit and beautiful bodies; we want to eat chocolate and sit in a comfortable chair and watch television or read a good book. We want to "save for a rainy day" and only spend on things we really need; we want to give in to impulse buying and credit cards. We want to think clearly; we want to give in to our addictions to food, alcohol, spending, or drugs.
The struggle for control extends to all relationships. In schools there is a continual struggle for control between adults and students.
In the workplace there are tensions between management or administration and the workforce. In marriage and other partnerships there are issues of control which must be addressed on a daily basis. We want to have strong and productive relationships; we want to be in charge and have things our way.
What is the relationship between control and government? We have laws for our safety: wear seat belts, drive the speed limit, don't drive drunk. We have the FDA, EPA, CIA, FBI, police, armed forces; when do these agencies for safety become agencies of control? How much of our personal control are we willing to give up? That question has been at the core of change in nations throughout history. I just finished reading "Fall of Giants" by Ken Follett. The story he tells of the Russian revolution during World War I is a perfect example of what happens when the people want to take back control from a dominating government. The results are messy, there is loss on both sides, and no one actually wins.
So, how do these thoughts on control apply to the current crisis in Egypt? Each person and relationship will change as external events shift thoughts and feelings about control. The struggle for control of the country impacts the lives of all Egyptians; it also impacts all of the world. Regardless of how it ends, the struggle will be messy, there will be loss on both sides, and no one will actually win.
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