Palimpsest

Palimpsest is a word that intrigues me. If feels good when I say it, it sounds ancient and mysterious. The dictionary defines it:

• from the Greek "scraped again"
• writing materials (such as parchment or tablet) used one or more times after earlier writing has been erased

Is palimpsest a metaphor for my life? I think of all the changes, transitions, and new starts in my life. I have been a child, a teen, a student, a wife and mother of preschoolers, a single mother of elementary children, a wife and mother of teens, a single mother of young adults. Have I been scraped or erased? The first divorce nearly did me in, but eventually it led me to stretch into more demanding leadership roles at work. The second divorce was a relief, and through it I learned so much more about myself and my goals for the rest of my life. What was the difference? The first one left me feeling scraped, as it was not my choice; I initiated the second one, and I worked to erase the past as I rewrote the next chapter of my life.

What about my career? I have been a teacher, a school administrator, a consultant, a business owner, and a specialist on a variety of education-related topics. I initiated and desired each of these roles, actively seeking change and new challenges. Have I been scraped? I was ready to make a change several years before I moved from principal to central office, and by the time I moved, I definitely felt scraped. So, even though I made the change willingly, it wasn't on my timetable. Maybe that's another difference.

I wonder if what is scraped or erased truly goes away in a palimpsest? I know that in my life, each of the personal and career stages has influenced what came next. Today I am a composite of all the experiences that I have had in the first 58 years of my life. If one of those stages had not occurred, I would be in a different place today. So, even though my situation has changed, I still carry the impressions of those earlier experiences.

As I continue to grow and learn, moving to other life stages, will I feel the effects of scraping or erasing? Will it be my choice? Will it be on my timetable? My job is to pay attention, to be willing to take risks for what is important, and to seek wisdom when making decisions. Change will come.